Self-Affirmations for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day- a day that has either made me feel really happy when I had a valentine, or really bummed out when I didn't. I remember as early as 5th grade feeling sad when no boys had a crush on me, no one was sending me a lip shaped lollipop (a silly school fundraiser that used teen romance as a way to exploit us into donating money to the PTA). In the years that I've had someone to send me flowers, it made me happy in the moment, but looking back, that feeling was so fleeting.

For the first time in my life, I feel okay with the fact that I don't have someone to celebrate V-day with. It all ties back in to where my validation comes from. Does it come from whether or not I'm with someone, whether or not I have someone to buy me flowers?

Do I have to ignore all things Valentine's Day, or can I acknowledge it exists, celebrate in little ways, and move on to the next day?

Do I have to be either anti V-day or all for it, or can I exist somewhere in between?

This year, I'm not wallowing away with a sad, bitter playlist. I did something I love: sending cards in the mail. I love using stationary: stickers, markers, and custom address labels I really wanted for Christmas. I sent Valentines to all of my girlfriends, whether they already had a valentine or not. I found it relaxing to write them all with my new calligraphy pens, and I was happy to have an excuse to do so.

I've been avoiding pasta that isn't in a portion controlled container, as I stress over the number of calories in it. I decided to test myself and buy the Trader Joe's heart shaped pasta as a little gift to myself in my eating disorder recovery. I made room for it in my meal plan and let myself enjoy eating for once.

I bought myself some sunflowers. Why do I need someone else to decide if I get flowers? They were only five dollars and it made me happy to put them in a mason jar on my kitchen table. They're non-toxic to cats, too, so when my little friend decides to nibble (with she inevitably will, as she's a big plant girl), I don't have to worry that she'll die while I'm at work (like the roses I've gotten in years past that would make me so anxious to keep in my apartment).

I bought the heart shaped chocolate mousse cake at TJ's. I don't want to flip to the other end of the spectrum and binge eat on this holiday, but I'm splitting it between two days and letting myself have the extra sweet after dinner.

Today is Valentine's Day, and I'm home sick with a bad cold. I'm a little sad I don't get to see my students today and celebrate with them, but maybe it's for the best I don't have to navigate the first grade boyfriend/girlfriend drama today. I had a hard time calling out sick yesterday. I knew it was the right thing to do, as it's school policy to report any potential COVID symptoms and I can't go back until my test results come back. Even though it's probably just a cold, a former version of myself would have been taking some Dayquil and getting my butt on the train. It's hard for me to let go of that perfectionism and over-working mindset, but I'm reminding myself that I deserve a day off to be sick and get better.

After getting my COVID test, I came home and gathered all of the self-care products I could find. I lit a lavendar candle, took a nice long shower, did a face mask, and tried to take my mind off what could be going wrong at work without me there. As much as I love being needed, sometimes I need to be not be. Sometimes I need to half a "self-care Monday" and be sick and honor my body and mind.

Lastly, I'm working on self-affirmations, using today as a reminder of how much I've grown as a person and how valuable I am to the world. Here are a few I've come up with, and I invite you to take a moment today (whether you have a valentine or not) and show yourself a little self-love...

I am a really good teacher. I care about my kids and I work really hard to do a good job.

I am really pretty.

I am a kind person.

I am accepting of others.

I care about the planet.

My worth doesn't depend on my relationship status.

I am not going to settle just so I can have a boyfriend to post about on Instagram.

I am going to find the love of my life.

I am good friend.

I am loyal to the people I love.

I have really nice handwriting.

I am good at problem-solving.

I have a strong work ethic.

I mean something to people.

I mean something to myself.