How to Keep Up a Long-Distance Friendship
You might not guess it now, but when I was a kid, I had a really hard time making and keeping friends. I found it difficult to relate to my peers at school. A big reason why I loved going to dance class so much was because I had friends there. We shared a love of the art form, we laughed at inside jokes from class, we got excited about our upcoming performances, and we spent hours at the studio bonding.
I was particularly close with a girl named Casey. We were invested in all things Disney Channel, and we agreed that Joe was the best Jonas brother. We spent hours watching High School Musical in her living room, and we even won a costume contest for going as Sharpay and Kelsi. After our Saturday morning ballet class, her mom would often take us to the movies where we'd sing the entire car ride there.
My routine changed when I was about fifteen years old. It's a tale as old as time: Casey's dad got a new job and her family was getting ready to leave New England and move to Maryland. I was crushed. We were finally getting to the age where we could go to the mall without our parents, go to concerts to see our favorite bands. I was bummed that I wasn't going to be able to do any of that with her.
Nearly 10 years later, Casey and I are still best friends. After graduating high school, she moved to California, and I now live in New York. However, the added distance hasn't put an additional strain on our friendship.
As a recent graduate of a Master's program, I now have friends in many different places. Even my core group of friends from back home is spread out between four states. The COVID-19 pandemic has made it even harder to keep up with everyone, but social distancing has reminded me of how Casey and I have kept it together all these years.
Here are some of the ways I've made long-distance friendships last...
Use snail mail
You'd normally get your bestie a funny card for their birthday, so why does that tradition have to end? Stock up on stamps and send little things here and there to show your friend you're thinking of them.
Keep your interests alive
What did you originally bond over? For Casey and me, it was music. We grew up crying over the Jonas Brothers and eventually fell in love with One Direction. Even though she moved when 1D was at their peak, we still stayed connected through our shared interest. We texted each other to react to new music videos, interviews, and albums. She's even the person that got me to love 5 Seconds of Summer, too. If your common interests have run dry, find new ones! I got her to watch Outer Banks during quarantine, and she got me into Julie and the Phantoms. You don't need to have everything in common in every friendship, but it's fun if you can fangirl over stuff together.
Reach out, even if it's just to send a TikTok
I'm not one to do well with small talk and starting up a friendly conversation. I keep up with people by sending them things that make me think of them, wishing them a happy birthday, and congratulating them when I see they got a new job on Facebook. Do more than just leave a comment; send them a text and let them know you're thinking of them. Keep them updated on your life, too. If something exciting happens, send them a Snapchat to celebrate wit you. Long "catch up" conversations can be great, but little forms of communication can go a long way, too.
Accept the space between you
Do you still consider them a friend if you don't talk everyday? Friends naturally come in and out of our routines, but that doesn't mean you love them any less. Celebrate their triumphs, and be there for them when they're down. But it's important to accept that you may not talk every single day, and that's okay! Your friendship isn't based on frequency, it's based on quality.
See each other when you can
Make an effort to get together! When I know Casey's family is going to be in town, I take a day off work and make a plan. Even if we're just going to grab dinner, it's great to hang out in person. Make the effort to go above hang outs and plan bigger trips when you can. When we were still in high school, Casey came to stay with my family and we went to see One Direction in concert. I also flew to Maryland to visit her the following summer, too. This may be easier said than done when money get tights and things get busy, but it's doable when you make it doable.
Start a creative project
There's nothing like a project to bring two friends together again, and with so many tools at our fingertips, the possibilities are endless! Whether you run a small business or start a blog, there is a lot you do together even when you're apart.
Speaking of which...Casey and I just started a podcast! We discuss our favorite things in entertainment (5SOS, 1D, Jonas Brothers to name a few), working in the arts, and life advice for creative living in your early 20s!
Check out When the Girls Talk Boys on Anchor, Spotify, and more by clicking the link below...
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