Dear Trader Joe's

I don't have to feel guilty about what I eat.

Trader Joe's has become a household name. The grocery store is known for its unique selection of organic options, frozen meals, and cult following. Personally, I love Trader Joe's. Although it's not as convenient of a commute to get there as other local stores, I save a lot of money in the city by shopping there regularly. As a vegetarian, I have an easier time finding healthy alternatives and fun, easy dishes for dinner than at any other store I've tried. The fruit is always super fresh, and the snacks are to die for.

And as someone in recovery for disordered eating, it's not often that I get excited about food. Grocery shopping can be really overwhelming for me, but the smaller scale store and savory seasonal items make it a little easier. So I take every pleasant trip to TJ's as a big fat win.

But, like everything in life (besides Harry Styles's album Fine Line), it has its flaws.

I have little to no cooking skills whatsoever, and I have zero interest to learn. I get home from work late and just want to pop something in the microwave most days. While TJ's has helped me with that immensely, it's hard to ignore the diet culture it feeds into.

Specifically, with its product "Reduced Guilt Mac & Cheese".

As I work with my meal plan and get in tune with my hunger (vs. the thoughts in my head that make me feel hungry even when I'm not), I buy a lot of single-serving dishes. I have a hard time judging what a "portion" is, so these pre-packaged meals are really helpful. As I'm looking over the wide variety of mac and cheese options, I stress a little over the caloric content of their regular mac and cheese (Is this healthy? No, but it's where I'm at in life because this is what living with an eating disorder is like). To my right, I see another variety to buy: the "reduced guilt" kind.

And I buy it.

And honestly, it's a solid portion size and goes great as my carb content of my balanced dinner. Throw some fresh green beans and vegan chicken nuggets on my plate and I'm happy. Sure, it looks like a Kid Cuisine, but it's healthy and satisfying.

But I resent the fact that I bought into diet culture.

Is eating mac and cheese something I should feel guilty about? No. Is eating ANYTHING something I should feel guilty about? Also no. But Trader Joe's uses this unhealthy mindset to sell you a product. They know mac and cheese has been deemed a comfort item, something extra that you should earn by going to the gym or limiting your carb intake all day. It's "kid food" that couldn't *possibly* be healthy for adults, right?

Trader Joe's, I love you. I love how safe you make me feel and how much yummy food you've gotten me to eat. But perpetuating this idea that food is something to feel guilty about in any way, shape, or form is blatantly wrong. You're using toxic diet culture to sell your products to the most vulnerable of us.

And it needs to stop.

Am I content with the portion size in the "reduced guilt" package? Yes. But do I think it needs to be rebranded in a positive way that doesn't suggest that food is something to ever feel shameful about? Also yes.

Is this the hill I want do die on? Maybe not, but while I'm in my safe haven of TJ's I don't want to be disturbed by diet culture. And you shouldn't be subjected to that, either.